The last year has been busy. I put my efforts to be productive, to manage all the tasks on time, being a good student, and to perform well on my job. I became good at completing tasks, but the price is that I always feel tense, I forget what it means to have a good rest, and I lose the meaning of doing something just for joy.
The lifestyle I had led me to be busy all of the time. I always had something on my to-do list. Today is Sunday; I’m sitting in my home office chair after breakfast. I have much free time, but I feel trapped because of it. I don’t have a plan and nothing on my to-do list. I have no idea what to do next. Step by step, it leads me to a depression-like state.
Anything I’m trying to do seems meaningless, and I’m continuing to look for some activity that I feel has any sense. It’s becoming a long process of searching and frustration.
The same happened to me today, but at some point, I asked myself whether I like to continue doing this or finally find some motivation to break this circle. I try again and again until I find driving thought.
Eventually, I found three things that helped me leave this state.
1) Put your thoughts away from focusing on repetitive thoughts. Don’t chew them again and again. Do 2 minutes of meditation, pray several times, or sit and breathe deeply.
2) Start doing something. It may be a simple thing such as painting, reading, or cooking something you like — anything you feel you want to do right now, without any pressure to finish it or get an instant result. Just switch your focus on this activity. That’s the main goal for now.
3) Keep doing. If you become bored, start another thing. Want some rest? Take a rest.
You did it. As you see, those steps are so simple. Now is the time for our nature to enter the game.
The rest happens to me at this point. When I’m not focusing on repetitive thoughts, I free space for healing thoughts that start coming to my mind. I believe that because I’ve experienced it several times.
Last Sunday, I felt the same. I remember I started with a simple action -painting. At some point, I leaned back to the back of my chair and switched my attention to voices from the TV. There was going a program about people whose job was searching for lost treasures of ancient cultures. I suppose that during the show they didn’t find anything valuable. “That’s without any meaning,” I thought — “but someone does this, and someones watch this show.” They have viewers If they spend money on recording this. Indeed.
That’s not any sense to me, but it may have to someone. It led me to my healing thought, “I am the person who decides whether something has a meaning.” The “meaning” is some abstraction we provide to things around us. I can keep doing things that have a sense only because someone else decided it was, but I also have this right to set the meaning to items that I consider valuable to me. Why should not try this?
More confidence to me and you. Cheers.
Painting by numbers. Water Lilies by Van Gogh